Friday 7 July 2017

Relationship Goals

This is from a meme on fb or twitter or whatsapp etc. The meme generally has drop dead gorgeous heterogenous people—obviously dating, sometimes they add a baby into the mix and the whole thing will just blow your fucking heart out.

I mean only if you can look 28, have a six pack, a giant house in which there’s a giant bed i which your significant other (SO) is with or without the 1yr old, and you can still tell your SO’s boobs from her belly fat, well who wouldn’t fucking want that!

The only believable part in the whole meme is the cuteness of the 1yr old.

Now being 26 I am at the age where I having left behind by third world birth place I soon would be able to finally own a house, a huge bed and all that. It is the rest of the meme I am so worried about.

For e.g. the 1yr old protesting against the 1% at the age of 20 is a real nightmare even now when I am just 6+ the 20. How will I cope with it when it indeed happens.

And let’s talk about the vending machine which will bring the little rat into the world. It seems my focus on finding the highly educated of the breed won’t get me far anyway (always read reddit comments and not just the post). They just remain vapid, which just means even higher chances of the 20 yr old following karan johar on her Iphone while being anti-capitalist.

But at the same time the relationship goals meme conveys a message that the two beautiful people have been together since ever and love mastubate to nothing but only one another, how do you deal with that?

I in no certain terms want to let go of a chance to “drill a teen” as pornhub puts it just because I have a certain someone back at home, but of course I am not far enough on the left to actually consent her to an open marriage, which translates to “i’ve fucked 100s while he’s just fucked 2-3”, no no I’m too aware of “you can’t out slut a slut”.

So this leaves me with the only option which has always been the only option for anyone in my situation. That you arrange a different woman for each of your different goals.

There’s nothing to say that you must just have a single “relationship goal” once you are 25 and have read most of the list (excuse me if the list doesn’t exist yet). Your goal with a nerdy one might as well be to have a 1yr old who she will read Ayn Rand to and Indira Gandhi has the basis of a “strong woman”, while on the side your goal with a different one might be to slap her and shove something into her mouth, which she pretends to hate but actually loves.

And since you have already covered the two extemes of slapping a dick into one’s mouth and having the other read Ayn Rand, there’s lot of room in between where you just visit someone after work and work some more on her.

By now this article is sexist, misogynist, immoral, amoral and worth firing the dude if it’s ever found out who is the mastermind behind it, but at the same time it’s just a scared little boy looking out for himself, I hope you understand that part. A scared little boy who’s not had much success shoving pipe like things into female mouths now just just betting on his new found ability ($X a month) to do so while at the same time trying to meet the family goals of the shy boy.

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